Broken
by Cat Steven
Summary: Lapis Lazuli experiences and goes through memories from Homeworld and other places, not in chronological order. The cover art is drawn by and belongs to @pondis-dant on Deviant Art - I received permission to use this picture (the title is "75" so search the gallery to find it)!
1. Homeworld: Part 1

**Welcome to "Broken". I hope you will enjoy this story, as I have many stories planned for the future! Also FireGire96, you have inspired me to do this, and pondis-dant, your drawing inspired me! This is a mostly Peridot chapter, I know, but this story is about Lapis.**

Chapter 1 – Homeworld: Part 1

Lapis Lazuli stood next to Peridot. Peridot was finishing up her log for Yellow Diamond and had planned to keep her as her prisoner in the ship. One Peridot finished the log, she turned over to Lapis. "Your prison schedule begins now. You will only leave the cell if you are told. Once we get back to Homeworld, they are going to decide what to do with you, you understand? We are not leaving until we have got all the Crystal Gems shattered by the Diamonds. Got it?" Lapis ignored the dreadful feeling growing in her body and nodded. Peridot installed an anti-gem force field over the prison cell, so Lapis couldn't escape. When Peridot left, Lapis hung her head and sat all bunched up in the corner. If she tried to escape, she'd get shocked. She had to leave somehow. After all those years in a mirror, why would she return to be trapped once again? Tears began to roll down her face, and she hung her head even more in grief as she heard a Topaz grunt in frustration. Lapis just stayed silently in her cell. There was no water around, and her gem only had a certain amount of water in it. Why waste it when Earth was the only planet with infinite water, whilst Homeworld had almost none at all? There was no purpose. No purpose at all. It made her mad.

Lapis summoned her wings and flew up to the ceiling, holding out her fist. It did nothing. Not even a crack was on the ceiling. Not even a small mark. Unfortunately, it had seemed as if they had made the cells out of unbreakable material! There was no use. It wasn't worth trying. "I'm kidding myself," she said silently, and buried her head behind her knees. There was no purpose of living if all you were going to be doing was be trapped. There was no purpose in being alive. Why? Why was her life so miserable? All she wanted was to be free, but first the mirror and now this. It angered her to think about the very short periods to be free. Why was she being so selfish? It was very selfish of her to be complaining over small periods of freedom, when some gems and humans weren't free at all. She began to sob, and the other trapped gems heard her. They longed to free her. All they had to do was be half human. HALF HUMAN.

But the only half gem half human being creature that was known to live was Steven.

* * *

Peridot was checking the status of the prison cells on her ship. Jasper was torturing a small blue gem who had been singing a lovely melody. It had been a month since Peridot made a cell for Lapis. The Crystal Gems had been caught, but Steven's cell statuses wouldn't load and had an error. "Stupid archaic Gem tech," Peridot muttered to herself and closed out of the app. "Those red and blue clods will tell me if they saw the Steven." She reopened of the prison status checker and searched up the codes for _Blue Sapphire 32456_ and _Ruby 393827261930_. Their numbers along with the password to disable the force field popped up. Peridot closed the app so Jasper could not read what she had searched, left the controls, and walked over to Ruby's cell.

Right as she arrived, Ruby had regenerated. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" she screamed. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH SAPPHIRE AND THE OTHERS?!" "SHUT UP, CLOD!" Peridot yelled. "And don't worry about it. I need to ask you: where is the Steven?" "I dunno," Ruby muttered in a teasing but annoyed and angry tone. "Maybe YOU should know, because YOU were the one who trapped us!" Ruby growled. "I hate you!" she muttered, and went to the corner of the cell where Peridot couldn't see to start pouting. "Fine," Peridot replied in a smoothly annoyed tone, and left to find Jasper.

Jasper punched the cell next to Sapphire. "STOP SINGING," she growled for the hundredth time. "You're STILL doing this?" Peridot asked. "Look. I need to ask the Sapphire something about the Steven." "The Steven doesn't matter right now," Jasper sneered. "But I guess you can ask her." She went to the controls, where Peridot had been recently. "Sapphire," Peridot started, "where is the Steven?" Sapphire shook in fear. There is no way in heck she would tell Peridot where her precious cinnamon bun was. "I am not going to tell you," Sapphire replied calmly. "I'll have your gem shattered if you don't tell," Peridot said. Sapphire paused for a moment. "Erhm, he's in cell 409-2658," she finally said. It was a lie. "Okay," Peridot said. "If you're lying, Jasper will come back and torture you."

Peridot headed to some other cells, reading the markings. "Cell 409-2655, cell 409-2657….AHA! CELL 409-2658!" When she checked the cell, there was a Nephrite crouched in fear. "GAAH!" Peridot grumbled. "I knew the Steven wasn't here!" "Huh?" the Nephrite squeaked nervously. "I k-know where he is…" she said. "WHERE IS HE?!" Peridot said, grunting in frustration. "I'll tell you if you free me and take me to White Diamond's court…" "I don't even know if she is still _alive_ ," Peridot groaned. "But fine, I'll do it. Just tell me where he is." The Nephrite nodded in delight. "Cell 875-2549!" she said without hesitation. Peridot punched in the password, gave her a note written in gem writing, and said, "Give Jasper this…she'll take you. If you are lying I will have Yellow Diamond shatter you!" But then she realized nobody was at the controls. She heard Jasper yelling at the Sapphire. "She's at the cell 423-9786…" Peridot needed to find Steven, and fast, so she could go back to the controls.

Peridot, once again, headed over to a different section of cells. Once she found the sloppy and faded coding, _Cell 875-2549_ , she sighed but then smiled. She had found the target. She looked into the cell to see a small boy with poofy brown hair crouched into a ball. "Target found," Peridot dully noted, and went back to the controls.

At least she had found Steven.


	2. Homeworld: Part 2

**Welcome back! Please check out "Welcome Home, Little Pup" and suggest some ideas for the future! I already have them planned, but tell me what you think! Eh, I'll just work on that chapter later. Also to the very friendly guest that reviewed, Lapis got prisoned by Peridot – I'll write all about it in the chapter prequel.**

 **PLEASE NOTE:**

 **While searching for my story to read the reviews, I see someone named queencee02 uploaded a similar story before me. I hope I am not copying you in any way! If you think I am, I will move this fanfiction story to another site (it will be specified if I do). I had just thought of the idea while looking at a picture, and didn't bother to check. I'm so sorry** **L** **. UPDATE: I contacted her and informed her about it!**

 **Onto the story ~.**

Chapter Two – Homeworld: Part 2

Lapis Lazuli punched her cell in fear. Her neighbor, a weak Ruby with a gem on the side of her head, had told her Peridot was searching for Steven. Jasper had even stated, before knocking him unconscious, "Yellow Diamond needs to see this…thing." Lapis faced the wall, buried her head on her knees, and began to sob. As wet tear stains soaked through the knee part of her dress, the Ruby next door yearned to help her. "I want to help you," the Ruby said. She may have been weak, but she was secretly 5% human…it was worth a try. "Sure, I guess," Lapis weakly stated. Luckily, the Ruby was able to get out, but sadly Jasper walked by and poofed her instantly. "NOOO!" Lapis said. "DON'T you DARE shatter her…" Lapis squeaked weakly. "Don't worry," Jasper said, smiling. "Your little friend is just one of the mistaken Rubies." Jasper dropped the Ruby's gem, and it cracked severely. With a strong STOMP she shattered the Ruby's gem. "NOOO!" Lapis said, bursting in tears. While Jasper disabled the force field as a test, Lapis managed to grab all the red shards. Jasper picked up Lapis and threw her in the cell, forcing her to drop some shards in her cell. At that moment, when Jasper enabled the force field again, she knew she had done a good job. She walked back to the ship controls with an eerie smile and smiled even more in satisfaction.

Peridot walked by. "It looks like the Ruby was shattered. Oh well. She was useless anyway. Give me the gem shards." "No," Lapis said. "No way." "Fine," Peridot sneered. She instead went to go to the controls to quickly drop off the Nephrite to Homeworld, and then take her to White Diamond's court (with a special pass coding given from Jaspers) so she could continue working. She had done a good job, but hopefully the Ruby, Garnet's Ruby, would be shattered next. Meanwhile, in Lapis' cell, Lapis clutched a handful of red gem shards, while crying fearfully and sadly. A few hours later, Lapis got a new roommate. It was another Lapis Lazuli, but with a different outfit and hairstyle. "Hi," L#2 (her nickname) said. "I'm Lapis Lazuli, but you can call me L#2 or Erra 2 Lapis." "Okay," Lapis muttered. "I'm a Lapis Lazuli as well but just call me Lapis." L#2 nodded and sat in the cell next to Lapis. It was quite upsetting how weird L#2 acted. Her gemstone was in the exact same place as Lapis. It was as if she was a robotic clone. It was creepy to Lapis. However, it meant that she wasn't alone. She could get through this.

Hours later, a small boy with a damaged eye approached Lapis, along with a disgruntled Ruby who wasn't proud to see her, and she instantly recognized the boy. She was too traumatized to speak, but she managed to. "Steven?!" "Lapis, I can free you!" he said, and reached to cut through the force field with his chubby fingers. "NO! STOP!" Lapis said. "Why? I'm trying to free you," he replied in concern. "If we do what they say, maybe they'll go easy on us," Lapis replied. Her pulse grew at a rapid rate. "That's why we can't fight them…" tears fell down her face. "That's why we have to fight them," Steven tried to persuade her. Lapis buried her head into her knees, her bangs covering her eyes, but what had damaged Steven was the permanent hurt look in her eyes. He, even, could see a small glimmer of hope in them, but it disappeared. "I'll come back for you," he said, and ran off with a Ruby leading him.

But he never did.

 **Sorry for the super short chapter, but I am ready for the next chapter!**


	3. We Are Malachite Now

**Welcome back, everyone! I hope you're excited! Onto the story!**

Chapter 3 – We Are Malachite Now

Eventually, the ship crashed. All of the fingers and palm and everything else were in pieces, with just a few chunks left. Peridot had blasted herself to Canada with her Escape Pod, but Jasper was nowhere to be seen. The poor Ruby, her friend, was shattered and gone. Nobody would've known where L2 was. When the ship crashed, she was scratched and damaged. She felt like she was going to suffocate. While she was coughing meekly and struggling to get out the pile of metal, she heard a muffle conversation from a growly, deep voice she instantly recognized. Jasper. She finally got out, and attempted to fly away for freedom, but Jasper caught her by her ankle and tugged her down, grasping her arm. She gave her a choice. Fuse, or flee with the Crystal Gems. She paced back and forth.

She approached Jasper and performed a dance, but she didn't want to fuse. She didn't know what she was beginning when she took Jasper's hand and danced. The fusion with six limbs (four legs, two arms) and four eyeballs began to form. Her hair was a wild mass of material, like a lion's mane, and she had a sneer in the shine of her eyes. She was only stable, but in a certain way. She was bound together by anger and mistrust, and if she was too wild, she could go destroying Beach City and its civilians. "Why did I do this?" Lapis muttered to herself, but her being part of a fusion, Malachite herself muttered it angrily, in a deep growly voice. She argued with Jasper, but lastly, she told Jasper she was going to keep her prisoner, and with that she tugged the damaging fusion to the bottom of the ocean. There, it was fixed. But Lapis didn't realize the damage she had started.

Suddenly, she was swarmed in a giant, dark realm. She was gripping the chains of torture, trying to keep Jasper from escaping. Why'd she get herself into this mess? She wanted to protect Steven, that's why. She even loathed herself so much she would occasionally hit herself, but she soon learned to love herself, and she loved herself for protecting Steven. _Does Steven love me? Does anybody love me?_ She was mostly ignored, but if she "came in handy" she would be given attention. _No, it's not like I have PTSD, or do I?_ She felt regular. She could do this. She would do this forever, no matter how much it hurt. She felt torn, and she felt like her muscles would snap in half. _A daily workout. How nice._ The wet, bleak, and suffocating tombstone was her home now. She would never be able to be free again. Wherever she would go, she would be trapped. And that would be forever. She might as well just get used to not seeing the light of day.

Tears began to fall.

She was losing balance. _No, no, no!_ Eventually, she felt the rushing coolness of water pour into her screaming mouth, and she was drowning. Jasper was holding her up! She didn't need air. She began to try to control Malachite. With Jasper's crazy mind, she would be smart enough to know how to hurt Steven, or maybe worse…kill him. She began crying, but the deep waters washed away her tears. She summoned her wings and flew high above the surface, grasping chains, beating Jasper. In her place, she even heard the angering screams of her enemy. _Jasper will forever break me._ Lapis made a bad choice, but she had at least had been able to protect Steven. She didn't care for the Crystal Gems, but she loved Steven dearly. He loved her so much, he freed her. Someday, she hoped, someday she would be able to do/give something in return for his kindness.

She miserably looked up into the "sky" of the dark realm. "I love you, Steven," she whispered, and with puffy eyes she attempted to hold the weight of the planet's ocean.

It was such a long time before Jasper had beaten her again. There they were, having a conversation while Jasper held the weight and Lapis was struggling and trying to force herself to win. "You're just a weakling, brat," Jasper said. "Well, brat, since you're powerful, I chose you to fuse with. You should be happy. Just be glad I haven't shattered you yet." Lapis immediately began to feel hurt. "I don't care about you," Jasper sneered. "This is only the beginning of abuse." Lapis moaned. She was probably going to be broken inside forever, and Jasper was probably going to enjoy it. Finally, she was able to beat Jasper with a huge flap of her huge wings. She was beginning to regret life. All of those 26,789 years she lived were misery. Maybe life was storing up all of her loses to make a huge win, but what could it be? Freedom, possibly, but with her luck she would never get it. She thought of all those civilians back on Beach City. They had all the freedom they desired, and they got to do whatever they want, or as it seemed. Once again, her thoughts were interrupted by the unnecessary screams from her enemy under the blue. _This realm is so quiet._ The only noises were like faint rain, splashing waters, screams, and the drops of her tears falling into the water.

Lapis being trapped was awful. She was in a mirror, bossed around, and forced to fuse. The mirror thing happened probably because of that stupid Bismuth – she poofed her in the first place. Maybe she should thank her, though, because if she wasn't placed in the mirror by a confused Quartz soldier, she would have never met Steven, the only joy of her life. _When will I see him again?_ Maybe in a few years, but Lapis didn't want help. She wanted to keep Steven safe. It was all she could do in her unfortunate situations. _What have I gotten myself into?_ A huge mess, that's what. She sighed. Crying wouldn't solve anything, but Malachite hurt her socially and physically. Hopefully, before she got shattered, especially broken, she would get to enjoy some freedom. She couldn't help but thinking all of the trouble she'd caused Steven. She broke his dad's leg, hurt his friends and family, and almost killed off all life in a huge part of the area. After she'd begun her journey home, she left Steven tumbling down in a crashing, towering pile of water, but he was safe. Jasper punched him in the eye, though, and it hurt him.

It hurt Lapis to see him get hurt.

If Lapis could do anything in the world right then, she would save Steven and forever live with him, learn to get along with humans and gems, and fly into a huge world of freedom, visiting all the locations where humans stayed, and visiting space occasionally…but nothing would ever work out like that. It really hurt. Lapis never got to do things her way, but it was always someone else bossing her around and telling her what to do. It wasn't very nice. She began to cry, and she let herself drown. Due to gems not needing air, she didn't actually die, but she let Jasper beat her. She cried herself to a five minute sleep, more of a nap, and then quickly retreated to the surface, flying higher than ever and beating Jasper with her strength, and suddenly heard the angered screams and yelps Jasper let out as she fell to the ocean.

Lapis tugged on the chains. Hopefully time would pass faster, and soon enough, she would beat Jasper and break free, and fly to freedom. She could just imagine the warm Earth sunshine gleaming and sending warm, brilliant, gentle rays of sunshine across her happy face. She loved the bright color palettes the sun could produce. She saw it while she was up at dawn, making her water tower go higher and higher to eventually reach space. It was so beautiful. Earth before hadn't been her favorite planet, but after she saw its beauty, she realized that on Earth, you could be whoever you wanted to be. Earth meant freedom.

She couldn't see freedom in her situation now.

In this dark, wet, bleak, suffocating realm, you had to be one thing: strong. You would have to grasp the heavy chains of torture waiting for you, and pray that the opponent would be at least a little weaker than you. You would be crying and forcing yourself to hold all of that weight, and the opponent would laugh at your failure, and you wouldn't be able to protect the friend that had freed you. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed Steven. It's been at least four Earth months since she had seen him, and it has been four whole months or more that she has been spending time in that tombstone, grasping the weight as strongly as she could. Every day she held those chains, a glimmer of hope would shine across her curious eyes when she looked up at the "sky". Every day, she would have to get used to the fusion. It was bound together by anger and mistrust, but it was so unstable, it didn't have a voice, and it had multiple eyes and legs.

How was Jasper reacting in this situation? Horribly. Since Lapis Lazuli was seemingly winning while she bravely held the chains, she was a sore loser. "I'm stronger than that brat. Why is she doing better than me?" Jasper would muffle to herself. Since she was saying it while she was underwater, Lapis couldn't hear her, luckily, but if she had, she would probably be really hurt. Jasper wasn't exactly a gentle person, but she wasn't likeable either. Jasper didn't care about Steven himself; she was sure he was Rose. The shield's symbol, the gem – everything. According to Jasper, he was just a converted, dulled down Rose Quartz. She was looking forward to beating Rose into the ground. She had a chance; a very good chance at that. But due to Lapis' actions, the chance everyday would continuously be ruined, and Jasper wasn't very happy about that.

Lapis cared about Steven.

Jasper didn't care for him in a loving way.

Lapis often had a sweet, motherly nurturing side, which Steven helped her reveal. He had been so kind and loving to her, so in return she was nice to him, but never really to the Crystal Gems. She, in general, was a sensitive friendly gem, who would be a great friend. She, as a result, was the sweetheart in my opinion. Jasper, on the other hand, loathed herself so much she turned down any help people offered to give her. She believed that advanced/better gems "higher up on the list" didn't need help. Was she living proof of that? Jasper was continuously rude and abusive towards Lapis. Malachite was a very abusive relationship, indeed, but both were too focused to notice so, except for Lapis.

While Lapis flew up and give the chain a final tug, Jasper was deeper underwater, and that meant that she was the strongest. She just smiled weakly, but then went back to her usual broken, sad look that she used to have often, and just kept working at it. She felt a sudden pang of sadness. How was she going to escape being part of the fusion? This confused her the most.

Tears began to fall.

 **I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I wrote a pretty generous amount, huh? I hope to do that for my other stories, too. If there are mistakes, sorry. It is 12:59 am right now, and my brain is mush. I would get the remains of my Starbucks coffee, but I'm saving it for the morning. Stay tuned for chapter four!**


End file.
